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[HTMLised by pdh@utter.chaos.org.uk; I got it from
srs1007@hermes.cam.ac.uk who got it from d.n.resha@durham.ac.uk]
Why did the chicken cross the road?
- Bill Clinton
- Well the way I see it that road wasn't
just a road -- it was the next step on a journey of hope -- a
bridge to the 21st century.
- Pat Buchanan
- Clearly that road was one of many roads,
too many roads that lead right past the border patrol and right
into the overburdened heartland of America.
- Bruce Lee
- That's because even a chicken knows how to
be like water -- you don't just cross the road, you
become the road.
- Edward Said
- In the context of neo-colonialism, the
larger question which invites our attention is, what structures,
paradigms, discourses, narratives, idées recus, etc. acted (in
numerous conjunctions varying widely in function as well as
intent) to give the chicken the kind of status, identity, and
legitimacy which led to the possibility of its crossing the road
now, which itself arose from the virtual impossibility of its
have crossed the road in any era previous to the present one?
- Pat Hoy, Director of Expository Writing at NYU
- To ask
the question of why that chicken crossed the road is to get on
the scent of an idea. But ultimately, that idea won't
turn into an essay without evidence.
- Yoda
- No chicken! Only chicken in your mind.
- Jackie Chan
- Because crossing the road wasn't a big
stunt. I save my energy for the BIG stunts.
- Plato
- For the greater good.
- Karl Marx
- It was a historical inevitability.
- Thomas de Torquemada
- Give me ten minutes with the
chicken and I'll find out.
- Timothy Leary
- Because that's the only kind of trip
the Establishment would let it take.
- Douglas Adams
- Forty-two.
- Nietzsche
- Because if you gaze too long across the
Road, the Road gazes also across you.
- Oliver North
- National Security was at stake.
- Carl Jung
- The confluence of events in the cultural
gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this
historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such
occurrences into being.
- Jean-Paul Sartre
- In order to act in good faith and be
true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein
- The possibility of "crossing" was
encoded into the objects "chicken" and "road," and circumstances
came into being which caused the actualization of this potential
occurrence.
- Albert Einstein
- Whether the chicken crossed the road
or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of
reference.
- Aristotle
- To actualize its potential.
- Buddha
- If you ask this question, you deny your own
chicken-nature.
- Salvador Dali
- The Fish.
- Darwin
- It was the logical next step after coming down
from the trees.
- Emily Dickinson
- Because it could not stop for death.
- Epicurus
- For fun.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
- It didn't cross the road; it
transcended it.
- Johann Friedrich von Goethe
- The eternal hen-principle
made it do it.
- Ernest Hemingway
- To die. In the rain.
- Werner Heisenberg
- We are not sure which side of the
road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.
- David Hume
- Out of custom and habit.
- Saddam Hussein
- This was an unprovoked act of
rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of
nerve gas on it.
- Jack Nicholson
- 'Cause it (censored) wanted to.
That's the (censored) reason.
- Pyrrho the Skeptic
- What road?
- Ronald Reagan
- I forget.
- John Sununu
- The Air Force was only too happy to
provide the transportation, so quite understandably the chicken
availed himself of the opportunity.
- The Sphinx
- You tell me.
- Sappho
- Due to the loveliness of the hen on the other
side, more fair than all of Hellas' fine armies.
- Henry David Thoreau
- To live deliberately ... and suck
all the marrow out of life.
- Mark Twain
- The news of its crossing has been greatly
exaggerated.
- Stephen Jay Gould
- It is possible that there is a
sociobiological explanation for it, but we have been deluged in
recent years with sociobiological stories despite the fact that
we have little direct evidence about the genetics of behavior,
and we do not know how to obtain it for the specific behaviors
that figure most prominently in sociobiological speculation.
- Joseph Stalin
- I don't care. Catch it. Crack its
eggs to make my omlette.
- Gene Roddenberry
- To boldly go where no chicken has
gone before.
- Machiavelli
- So that its subjects will view it with
admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to
boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them
has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue?
In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.
- Hippocrates
- Because of an excess of pleghm in its
pancreas.
- Andersen Consultant
- Deregulation of the chicken's
side of the road was threatening its dominant market position.
The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and
develop the competencies required for the newly competitive
market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with
the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical
distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the
Poultry Integration Model (PIM) Andersen helped the chicken use
its skills, methodologies, knowledge capital and experiences to
align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support
of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework.
Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road
analysts and best chickens along with Andersen consultants with
deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day
itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal
knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to
synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals
of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an
enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry
cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park like
setting enabling and creating an impactful environment which was
strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a
consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with
the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was
conducive towards the creation of a total business integration
solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become
more successful.
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